Private Research

Sometimes, I wonder - if we were able to ask muggles how they feel about the Statute of Secrecy - how would they feel? Would they really want to know about magic when they'll never be able to use it? Would they want to know the truth about Werewolves, Dementors, Giants and all the other dangerous creatures we're keeping hidden from them? I deliberately don't tell my parents about these things. I told them as little as possible about the war. I only told them about when it became unavoidable. Is it wise to tell muggles about the portion of our society that hates them without good reason?

Though, of course, if we don't tell them for that reason we're just being patronising. Thinking we know better than them so we should make their choices for them. So I'm not saying we shouldn't tell them but we should consider that in a lot of ways this could have a negative impact.

I'm back in the flat now after spending Christmas with my family. I'm not back at work until the 2nd, which is nice. Although I do have a meeting with my supervisor that I'm apprehensive about on the 3rd.

I've been avoiding my journal lately, I know. Mostly, I think, out of a sense of guilt. Every time I think about writing - or reading - something in it I get overwhelmed thinking how much I've neglected it so I put it off for yet another day so that I don't have to deal with that.

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. I didn't send out cards this year but I do have presents sitting under my tree that I really need to get organised and give out - if you'll all forgive belated gifts.

I was planning to go to my parents for New Year's Eve, but it turns out they're going to a neighbour's house for dinner and I can't really go with them. I'll probably spend it with a book.

Shopping is so exhausting. It's hard to believe some women people actually enjoy it. It probably didn't help that I was shopping for my muggle family in Diagon Alley. They're allowed to know about magic, of course, since they know about me, but it still seems weird to get them magical items as presents. Most of it they wouldn't understand or have a use for and, to be honest, I'm worried about them leaving them out in the open when they have guests over.

I didn't get anything I needed. I'm thinking maybe I'll do my Christmas shopping online this year, but then I run into the same problem in reverse. Mandy My friends probably don't want muggle presents. I know that physical shopping is only going to get worse as we get closer to Christmas - in terms of queues and crowds, anyway.

Witch Weekly is a vile, shallow attempt at journalism completely inane and I quite frankly lose respect for anyone who reads it. There are much more important issues in the world than gossiping about your co-workers sex lives.

Mum's up on her feet again and doing far more than her fair share of the housework. I've tried to get my dad and my brother to do more but they're stuck in old habits and don't see the toll it takes on mum when she feels she has to do all the work. I've been home myself this weekend doing the ironing so she doesn't have to. It feels weird that there's only three of them living in the house now, but that doesn't mean there isn't just as much work to do. I don't think mum will know what to do with herself when George moves out.

( Private )

My mum is fine, she's back home now. The doctors said it was kidney stones, and that she needs to make changes to her diet in order to prevent more but she should be alright as long as she follows their instructions. I got to go see her once and I think she appreciated it. Having someone from the Ministry accompany me seemed to make my dad and my brothers realise that I'm not just making these laws up. I went to see them today and my dad was asking a lot of questions - it's the first time he's shown any interest in the magical world since the War. There's still a lot I can't bring myself to tell him about Purist attitudes and the superiority of Wizarding medical care.

( Private to Mandy )

( Private to Penelope )

My dad just phoned. My mum's been taken ill and they're taking her to hospital. He didn't say much so I don't know what's wrong or how serious it is. He sounded worried. I've never heard him sound worried about anything. He's a firefighter! My brothers are there, except Harry of course. I can't even phone them because they all had to turn their mobiles off when they got to the hospital. I'm stuck here, waiting for someone to remember to call me.

When I told him I couldn't come and be with them, he told me I was a disgrace. I asked if he wanted me to break the law to be there, but he said it wasn't a 'real law'. I suppose, to him, it isn't. I think my mum would understand. Well. That depends how ill she is. If she's going to be ok she'll understand why I didn't come. If she dies none of them will ever forgive me. I won't forgive myself.

I'm going to find out who I need to speak to at the Ministry and ask if I can have some kind of special dispensation to leave my wand in their care and go see my family. I don't imagine they'll get back to me, or that they'll say yes if they do.

I understand the need to protect the secrecy of the magical world but there are no words for how angry I am that they've indirectly put me in this situation. They should have prepared some kind of compromise for crisis situations.

The office has been full of political conversation this last week, though more than half some people really truly don't know what they're talking about.

There was a conversation going on today comparing wizarding politics with British muggle politics and the number of people who don't understand the first past the post system is staggering. Two of my co-workers took Muggle Studies to NEWT level and insist they were never taught about the British parliamentary system. What on earth do Muggle Studies lessons consist of if they don't even cover the basics of politics in this country?

I never took it, obviously. It was the only subject at Hogwarts I had absolutely no interest in. It doesn't sound like I missed out - but I am wondering if Hogwarts needs to rethink their Muggle Studies curriculum. It sounds like it was woefully inadequate. Maybe they have updated it, though. It's been a while since my co-workers were at school. Anyone take it and remember the basics of the syllabus?

I'm tempted to write to Professor Flitwick and see if he agrees with me on this. He always said we should feel free to contact him after we graduated.

( Private )

Life can be amazingly complicated. Even something which is good can add all sorts of complications.

( Private to Mandy )

I'm 25. I didn't manage to organise any kind of celebration in time, which is habitual for me. I had dinner with my family. Just mum's home cooked cottage pie, nothing fancy. They gave me some excellent books on beekeeping, Leonardo Davinci and the French Revolution. Natalie (Colin's girlfriend) gave me a novel called 'The Line of Beauty'. I suspect they just told her I like books, so she went out and bought the first one she saw. I'm not sure my family didn't do the same, but at least they walked into the non-fiction section.

25. I feel like nothing's changed since I left school. Or at least since I left Gringott's. I'm not more mature, I haven't got my career sorted out or my personal life. A quarter of a century seems a long time to have lived, even for a Wizard and I don't feel I've personally accomplished anything. I wasn't even at the final battle.

I'm finally home. I've been out all day helping my brother move his stuff from our house in Liverpool to his new flat (without magic, of course). That's what his news was last sunday; he's decided to move out. I can't exactly blame him, I know I nearly went mad during the brief stint I moved back home after Gringotts. Nonetheless, he's still young. He doesn't really have any idea about money, his job doesn't seem to have many prospects. While he was still living with my parents, there was a chance he'd reconsider university but I don't think that's the case anymore.

He's moving in with his girlfriend, who I finally met today. She seemed nice enough but just as young as he is. I suspect they're about to get some pretty hard and fast lessons about the real world. Who am I to talk, though? I've certainly never been in a relationship serious enough to consider living together. Or any relationship at all, really. The best I can do is wish them luck. They wouldn't listen to my advice anyone.

I have to ask, though. Does anyone who's moved in with a significant other have any advice? Maybe I can pass it along.

( Private )

I'm going for a swim this afternoon. Exercise is supposed to have benefits for the mind as well as the body so maybe it will help. If nothing else, it might tire me out and allow me to get a proper night's sleep.

Family lunch tomorrow. Dad says Colin has news for us. I've been encouraging him to apply for university to do something in Computer Science, but I doubt he's decided to listen to me all of a sudden. Much more likely he's got a promotion or something.

( Private )

My birthday is coming up much too fast. I'm glad the restrictions have been lifted and I'll be able to go out for a meal with my family, but I think I'd also like to do something with friends. I'm not sure what kind of thing to organise. Anyone got any ideas?

Finally. The Ministry seem to have come to their senses, though I'm still not sure how much I can trust them after this. I suppose it's some comfort that they lifted the restrictions without needing a public demonstration to show them how our opinion; suggests they're paying more attention than I've been giving them credit for of late.

For utterly selfish reasons, I wish they could have lifted the restrictions a day or two earlier. My brothers took my father out for dinner last night, for Father's Day and I had to tell them to go without me. George told me I was a disgrace, picking 'that world and those people' over my own flesh and blood. I tried to explain about the restrictions, but my brothers don't have quite the same respect for the law that I do so it didn't make any difference. I took Dad aside and tried to explain it to him separately, before he left. I don't think he understood, though he told me to do whatever I had to do. I'll have to find a way to make it up to him.

[Private]

Maybe now the restrictions have been lifted the nightmares will stop. 'Dreamless Sleep' is all well and good, but I don't wake up feeling quite as rested as I'd like. Besides, I don't want to be dependent on a potion just to get a decent night's sleep.

It seems there is good news and bad news today.

Sarah showed me the little article about Harry Potter in today's Witch Weekly. For anyone who hasn't seen it, it's on the 'Wizarding World Updates' page and it basically states that Aurors have been filing complaints against the Ministry's Restrictions. It also mentions that Harry Potter has spoken out against them, saying "I didn't become an Auror to criminalize muggleborns." Obviously, this is the good news. I can't explain how relieved I feel to know that people within the Ministry (other than myself) feel strongly about this issue. Harry makes an excellent point that these restrictions serve more to criminalize muggleborns, and others with muggle family members, than they do to protect the Wizarding Community at large. We need to protect the Wizarding World, but there must be a way to do so without causing these problems.

The bad news, as it happens, is also very much about criminalising muggleborns (or those with muggle family members, which I'm starting to think we need to invent a new word for). The Ministry, in their infinite wisdom, have started arresting and fining people for breaking the restrictions. Not only that, but the fines are ludicrously high, for an essentially victim-less crime. Moreover, there doesn't appear to be any way to give a reason for being in a restricted area, and there's no appeal process. This is beyond unacceptable. People who are in muggle areas, dressed as muggles performing absolutely no magic, are not criminals. To keep them in the Ministry's holding cells for their behaviour is unreasonable in the extreme. I'm disgusted with this decision, and hope the Ministry can be convinced to reconsider the impact of their actions.

[Warded against MLE workers, the Minister and his assistants and the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee]

If you agree with any of what I've written above, do let me know. I am interested in finding out just how many people disagree with the Ministry on this, and how many people are affected by it. Ideally, I want the restrictions over-turned, but at the very least I think a way needs to be found for people with legitimate reasons to visit selected Muggle areas. To restrict access entirely is simply not a sustainable solution.

Victory Day is tomorrow. Every year I try to decide where I should spend it, and every year I put the decision off until the morning of the day itself. Every year so far, I've made the same choice, but maybe this year will be different.

( Private to Kevin )

[Visible to those with at least one muggle parent]

Is no one else completely sick of these Ministry restrictions? It's been over a month, I was expecting them to be lifted by now. They're ridiculous, for a start. I believed I was a muggle for eleven years, I haven't forgotten which bits of my life are and are not obviously magical. I can pass for muggle without even thinking twice about it. I imagine the same is true for anyone with one muggle parent and half a brain. I frankly don't believe this level of restriction is necessary for security.

What really annoys me is that you know this wouldn't be allowed to continue if it were the Purebloods who were suffering. Once again, anyone with muggle blood is victimised, cut off from a world they grew up in (or at least spent time in, or have some connection to). If someone was suggesting we disband all the magical communities, because they present too big a risk of discovery the Purebloods would band together to complain and that would be the end of that suggestion. I've written several letters to various Ministry departments, but I don't seem to be getting through.

It's not that I really believe more muggleborns complaining will help; I'm pretty certain the Ministry will disregard us anyway, but I'm curious as to why I haven't heard anyone else complaining about this. Is no one else bothered by the fact that they're effectively holding us in the Wizarding World against our will? What if I wanted to abandon the Wizarding World and live my life as a muggle from now on? (I don't, but I can't imagine they would allow me to, either and that bothers me.) It isn't fair that they can do this to us.

( TBD )